Asking for help

You see your team about to make a costly mistake. They should have come to you earlier to ask for help. But they didn’t. Now, what do you do?

A) Allow them to make the mistake. Then use that mistake to teach them a lesson.

B) Offer them your help before they make the mistake.

C) Fix it on your own without your team knowing that you fixed it.

(If these options sound like different parenting styles, that’s because parenting is a fantastic model of leadership. In many respects, it can be the ultimate form of leadership, if done correctly.)

But back to the question. Which would you choose?

It’s easy to see that Options B and C create a cycle of dependency. And Option A is used by many parents as a form of “tough love”. Not every team learns the right lessons from this kind of treatment. Honestly, it’s a tough call in this situation. Maybe you decide to take the mistake on the chin and hope that it never reoccurs.

Regardless of which option you choose, in this situation, it’s your fault. They should have come to you for help and you’ve allowed the mistake to happen. Your culture is one where the team feels threatened and they avoid asking for help.

Instead, what if you created the conditions that didn’t stifle people asking for help? What if you made it safe for them to make a mistake? What if you shared your mistakes with them openly as well?

You would create a positive environment that encourages growth and risk-taking. Your team would be enabled to dare, dream and innovate. And isn’t that what you really want, anyway?

The secret combination involves a mixture of psychological safety, vulnerability and some good old fashioned love. It’s that simple.