How big is your ego?

Let’s say you’re angling for a promotion in your company. You’ve been the best performer on the team for the last three years. Your team members have started to praise you openly; in fact, some are even starting to hate you because of how good you are. You go to meet with your boss for the promotion you’ve been dreaming about…

And he decides to give it to another teammate. He says you’re just not ready for the role. Yet.

What do you feel at that moment? Righteous anger? Indignant? “How dare he…?”

Bingo. You’ve got an ego.

Everyone has one. We have developed an inflated sense of self (or ego) from our society. It’s hard not to. From the time we’re born, we have been conditioned to think that we are special. That we are unique. Then as we progressed through our education system, we learned to equate receiving praise with feeling good. And feeling “better than”. Finally, we were bombarded by stories of ego. We learned to revere athletes and musicians. We saw politicians and CEOs enjoy the fruits of society. We learned that unless you’re first, you’re last in this society. So naturally, we want all that too.

And that creates an ego inside all of us. One that wants all the fame and wealth. One that thrives on disparaging other people to inflate ourselves. One that won’t allow us to take jobs that are “beneath our level”. One that wants us to be “better than” in what ever we do.

Your ego whispers in your ear constantly. “Don’t talk to him – he’s not the CEO”. Or: “Well, at least, you’re skinnier than her.” Or my personal favorite: “How dare they get angry? Don’t they know who I am?”.

And that’s a problem.

The biggest challenge of your life is to keep your ego small. To become humble and stay humble. Because your ego keeps you back from growing. From serving. From becoming a true leader.

You begin to defeat your ego when you recognize that, at its essence, we’re similar. That there’s no separation between each of us. Everyone loses their parents. Everyone will die. Everyone is a success and a failure at something. And at the same time, everyone has something of value to give.

When you focus on the commonalities, you realize that we’re all in this boat of life, together. And there’s no room for your over-sized ego. It’s just weighing us all down.

So, how big is your ego?