A New Source Code

The default response to a negative event is to criticize, condemn or complain. That’s probably the most human thing to do.

But the best leaders in history, found a way to rise above the default response. Abraham Lincoln was famed for writing letters criticizing his colleagues. And he was also famed for never sending them. He refrained from attacking their character and always sought ways to work with them.

I think that Abe Lincoln saw every event that occurred as an opportunity. An opportunity for him to define what kind of leader he wanted to be. He consistently made himself into the leader that he is known as today. He showed up, day after day, and made the tough decisions. He showed tremendous character in each moment.

What if every event that occurred was an opportunity for you to show your character?

For example: If you pitched to a client and then you were rejected. Instead of complaining, what if you used the rejection to get better at public speaking?

Or you lost a member of the team while working on deadline. Instead of condemning her, what if you tried to discover your team’s hidden strengths?

Or you were blamed for the failure of the project. Instead of deflecting , what if you used the failure to practice taking ownership of the result?

The main problem that we have, is our tendency to label events as “bad” or “good”. We run away from the bad events and seek only the good ones. Instead we need to see each event as a chance. A chance to show to the world who we really are.

Will you take the first step? Will you start viewing life as an opportunity?

 

You’re going to be in the situation sooner rather than later. There will be days when you are overwhelmed to the point that you can’t think properly.

You might have to decide which person to hire. And you might have to decide what the new corporate strategy should be. And you might have to cover for someone who missed a meeting with a client.

And you might have to do all of them in the same day.

How do you manage when you have 25 different fires to put out at the same time?

By focusing on your Most Important Task (MIT).

Your MIT is the ONE thing that if accomplished, would make your day a success. Because  you only have a limited amount of time in a day. You cannot accomplish everything on your ever-growing to-do list. Nor should you. You would probably fall down from exhaustion. And that definitely wouldn’t help you or your team at all.

The challenge is in deciding what your MIT for that day is. Do you focus on the urgent but not important task? Or do you focus on the important but not urgent one?

My offering is this: Focus on the MIT that gives you the most breathing room. The one that allows you the chance to sleep at night. Because you need to be able to survive this day just to get to the next.

I know, I know. This leadership thing is hard. I’m not denying that.

But you can do it. Just take it, one MIT at a time.

Some time ago, I had a dream that really shook me to my core. I hope that you’ll allow me to share this with you.

I was chasing after a bandit who had stolen a unique detonator. It had the potential to launch a rocket that would annihilate Russia and start a global war. (Sometimes I have these weird Mission Impossible style dreams. I swear, I’m only partly crazy!) We were on a mountain which kept spiraling and the bandit was headed straight for the top. My colleague and I were in hot pursuit of him.

Suddenly, the bandit disappeared. But I knew that based on his tracks, that he turned right. I followed, rounded the bend and then I started to skid. Panic gripped me. I was headed straight off the cliff!

Luckily, I managed to hold onto the cliff face, leaving my legs dangling in the air. I took a few breaths, settled myself and started pulling myself up the rock face. I could see the end – I only had 5% more to climb and then I would be on level ground. But I felt exhausted. I didn’t know how much more I could go. My arms felt heavy and my fingers started slipping. I knew I was going to fall.

At that point, I shrieked for help. I was terrified. Then, just as I was about to fall, my friend appeared and lifted me up to safety. Then I woke up!

I know what you’re thinking: What a crazy dream!

But the reason it shook me was I realized that: even in my dreams, I’m not quick to ask for help. 

I foolishly believed that I should have been able to climb up all on my own. That asking for help made me look weak. That I was not worthy.

Can you imagine that? I was about to die, and I didn’t want to ask for help.

The thing is, this happens more often than we think. We are all perfectionists to some degree. It’s a badge of honor in our culture to be self-sufficient. And I believe that’s the problem. We are not quick to lean on someone. We don’t ask for help. We believe that you have more worth if you can do it all on your own.

What we need to do instead, is ask for help. Ask for help early and often. It’s the only way for us to actually get things done. Because the fact is, we can’t accomplish anything alone. No matter how much we think otherwise.

Let’s not have to fall off a cliff to ask for the help we truly need.

“Bonking” is a term frequently used by long distance cyclists, triathletes and marathon runners. You have “bonked” when, at some point in your race, your body shuts down completely. You have zero physical energy to continue. It’s actually one of the most gruesome things to watch. Sort of like watching an animal slowly bleed to death after being attacked. Truly horrible.

Now the saddest part is that usually athletes bonk a few kilometers away from the end. They have almost completed the marathon. They have usually under 10% of the course to go. They have merely to finish and they can relax.

It begs the question: Why? Why would they allow their body to bonk when they are so close to finishing?

Because they didn’t listen to what their body needed. They needed to refuel and instead, they powered through it. They ignored the pain and thought: “If I can just get to the next checkpoint, then I’ll rest.”

Right?

Now, how many times have you gone to work on 5 hours of sleep? Or missed your family’s dinner and eaten pizza at work? Or skipped the gym? Or rolled over your vacation?

See what I mean? You’re probably close to bonking as well.

How do you know when you’re about to bonk? When you’re fighting regularly with your partner because you haven’t seen each other. When you’ve put on more than a few pounds. When you feel anxious on the way to work every day for weeks.

The way to avoid bonking is simple. Give your body what it needs, when your body needs it. Give it some rest, proper nutrition, exercise, laughter and connection. The world can wait. You don’t need to play hero and do it all right now.

Don’t be the idiot who bonks. Ever.

 

There is a lot of talk about the similarities between coaching and leadership. And it’s true, they are very similar. Coaches/leaders:

• Define a clear end goal/ result to aim for. (E.g. Make $500,000 in sales by the end of the year).
• Assess the current state in relation to the end goal (E.g. You are currently at $50,000 in sales)
• Select a path to get there that best uses the person/team’s strengths (E.g You are good at cold-calling but not so good at closing. So you can partner with a better closer to help you convert the leads into sales)
• Remove the blocks that stand between a person/team and the goal (E.g. You struggle with accountability to get things done, so the coach/leader keeps you on task and checks in with you regularly.)
• Refine the strategy based on feedback so that a person/team eventually achieves the goal (E.g. Partnering with a better closer didn’t quite work because of the conflicts between both of you. So they schedule some training for you to help you become a better closer)

But in my mind there’s one major difference. And it has to do with their mindset. 

Leaders pull and Coaches push.

Leaders will pull you along when you decide you want to give up. If there are times when you don’t want to evolve, they will pull you along. That’s because leaders are invested in the outcome. They need to win.

Coaches on the other hand, can only push you to where you want to go. If you’re ready to grow, they will push you and provide challenges to help you succeed. But if you decide you don’t want to evolve, coaches can’t force you. It’s all up to you.

It’s helpful to think of the push/pull dichotomy when you lead your team. Because in the end, you must be able to do both.

The question is: Can you push and pull your team to success?

 

Let’s imagine a typical day..

Your alarm goes off. You turn it off. You immediately check your phone. You see 5 text messages, a couple of missed calls and 15 emails, 50 slack messages. You start sending replies and before you know it you’re already late and feeling overwhelmed. You rush out the door on the way to solve the world’s problems.

Now imagine another scenario.

Your alarm goes off. You turn it off. You get out of bed and drink a glass of water. Then you sit down to gratitude journal for 5 minutes. You still haven’t checked your phone yet, and you don’t feel the desire to. You take your time making breakfast. You leave home feeling unhurried and ready. Only when you’ve reached the office do you check your phone.

Which one is feels like the better way to start the day?

The second one. And it’s not even a contest. 

It’s because you muted the world. You gave yourself a chance to breathe. You allowed yourself the silence it needed to function. You found a little bit of peace for your morning.

That’s the challenge. Every day, the world is going to want some piece of your time. There will always be some demand placed on you, whether it’s from family, friends or colleagues. But can you carve out the time to give yourself that silence it needs? Will you make it a priority?

Forget doing it for increased productivity. Forget doing it because you might seem smarter. Above all, forget doing it because you’ve heard it might be good for you. The truth is you crave it like you need air to breathe.

So… will you put the world on mute?

 

You’re responsible for every outcome. Always. Whether you like it or not.

If your team is not performing to their potential, who gets the blame? You. If you didn’t close the deal that you hoped, who’s responsibility is it? Yours. If you don’t get an opportunity, who should have tried harder. You.

You make choices every second of every day. The choice to work. The choice to sleep late. The choice to buy groceries at the organic store. And over time, these choices add up to the life that you end up living.

There’s no time to spend complaining, “Why God? Why is it always me?” The truth is you have tremendous power to change your reality and you waste it. By watching Netflix. By spending time on Instagram. By not putting in the extra effort.

If there is one thing, I wish I could share with the world so loudly it’s this: It’s all on you. The buck stops with you. You can accomplish anything once you recognize that you are playing a part in creating it. The second you accept the responsibility, then watch all those opportunities appear.

You always have the responsibility. Choose to be believe in possible. And then choose to take advantage of the opportunities.

You don’t have any time to waste.

When was the last time you’ve reviewed all the good and bad actions of your day?

It’s probably been a while, huh?

And yet, this is the secret sauce of the best leaders in any field. Dwight Eisenhower and Benjamin Franklin are just two famous examples of leaders who’ve used this strategy to improve themselves.

The reason why it’s so powerful, is that this daily review makes you become more self-aware. What better way to know yourself, than to know how you screwed up. Every single day.

Self-awareness is the key. You need to be able to discern for yourself what are your strengths and weaknesses. And how best can you lead your team. For example: if you need to deliver feedback to your team and you’ve been procrastinating for days, then you know that you need to get better at this skill. ASAP. This kind of clarity only shows up when you examine your day in detail. Your faults have nowhere to hide.

Now you’ve probably been avoiding this daily review session because of the pain. It is painful to look at your daily mistakes and not become despondent as a leader. True.

But it’s also painful to discover that you directly were sabotaging your team’s success. Because you were blind to your flaws. You wouldn’t let a blind person lead you anywhere. So why would you do that to your team?

Make the daily review your top priority. It’s the smartest thing you can do for your team.

I don’t set big goals any more. I just don’t believe in the value of it. I know everyone says you should have goals and they should be big and scary and audacious.

In contrast, I ask myself only one question when I’m trying to find out what goals to pursue.

What’s does 1% better look like?

In many ways, this is the one question to rule them all. We all want to achieve the big sexy goals. But when we get down to it, we get scared by the size of those goals.

We say we want sales to double but we don’t know which actions will take us there. We say we want to start our own business but we don’t know how to begin. So we get stuck. We feel paralyzed and then we do nothing. We just sit and wait.

But what if you asked yourself: What’s 1% better each day?

Maybe you would consider making 1% more calls each day. Or you would think of asking your current customers how you could improve by 1%. Or you would try to get people to buy 1% more in your store.

That’s why the 1% better question is powerful. It helps you focus on the tiniest improvement possible that will take you in the direction of where you want to go. You don’t have to get overwhelmed. 1% is instantly manageable and achievable. And over time, it stacks and becomes unstoppable. 1% better each day for an entire year is a whopping 37x better at the end of the year.

When next you’re setting a goal, think small. Ask yourself:

What does 1% better look like for me today?

 

 

How long is a day?

If you count in terms of hours, it’s 24 hours. Or you can look at it in terms of minutes, which is 1440 minutes. Or 86400 seconds.

Those are all familiar ways of looking at a day. But what if you looked at it from the other direction? Now, how long is a day?

In terms of weeks, it’s 1/7 which is 14.3% of time. Or in terms of months, it’s 1/30 which is 3.3%. And in terms of years, a day is 1/365 or 0.2% of a year.

Now, let’s assume you live for 80 years. A day is now approximately 0.003% of your life.

Tell me, when was the last time you noticed when anything increased by 0.003%?

But why oh why, do you complain that progress is taking longer than you thought? That you should be farther along by now? Tell me, once again, how much time has passed?

0.003%.

Exactly. We forget that time is relative. It all depends on the scale at which you’re looking at it. And this is the problem. We think that progress should be quicker when we’re actually measuring time using the wrong scale.

The key to playing the long game is to change the measurement of time. If you expect that you’ll excel in a field within 10 years, then a day is 0.02%. You’d be significantly more understanding of your progress with that metric. But if you expect to be successful by next week, then you’d better be 14.3% better, tomorrow.

If you’re struggling with patience in achieving your goals, always remember:

How long is a day?