A New Source Code

If you ask any successful person how they got to the top, they’ll say some version of: “Persistence, Patience and Presence”.

They worked hard, they waited and they seized the moment.

But dig a bit deeper and you’ll also hear another P-word. They pivoted along the way. It’s commonly used in the startup world. The definition of “pivot” means to change direction with regards to your business. They analyzed the situation and decided to do something else.

Or in other words, they decided to quit. 

Our society ignores stories of quitters. We tend to laugh at someone who quit whatever they were pursuing. We even feel ashamed that we didn’t become a concert pianist or black belt in karate.

But it takes even more courage to hold your hand up and say “I gave it my best shot. I’m going to quit and go on to something better”. When you quit, you’re saying to the world: “I have limited time on this earth and I’m going to use my time better.”

Isn’t that the true goal? To use our time on this earth, wisely? So here’s what you should do:

You should quit. Sometimes. 

You can never quite predict how the traffic is going to be leaving a city. One random car crash affects the movement of all the other cars on the highway.

It’s difficult because of the interactions between the different parts of the system. You can’t quite understand the feedback loops just by glancing at the system. You must go a bit deeper. You must become a detective.

And just like Sherlock Holmes, you can find the answer. All you need to do is simply observe.

Maybe you notice that these car crashes happen at the same spot of the highway. And when you investigate further, the reason is that the highways haven’t been maintained for years. When you try to understand the cause, you realize that the Ministry of Transportation has been chronically underfunded. That’s the key problem – solve that,  and you’ll be able to fix the highways.

Becoming a detective is unnatural for us. We prefer to stay clueless about life. But when we become detectives, we can understand the causes of the problems in our lives. The clues are all there, hiding in plain sight.

The beauty of this detective work is that we all can do it. It’s a skill that we can develop with practice.

The real question is: Will you?

One day, you have a performance review with your manager. He tells you that your performance is good but he thinks you could improve. He notes that you are excellent at public speaking but you struggle to be detail-oriented. Your current position has a 40-60% split in terms of public speaking and details.

There are two positions opening up in the company. One of them would be tailor made for you as a public speaker. The other position is more detail-oriented but you would earn 50% more than the public speaking position.

Which should you apply for?

You have two options: Focus on your strengths and make them even stronger. Or you can focus on your weaknesses and improve them.

Most people think you should focus on your weaknesses. Especially, as you can make more money doing something that doesn’t come naturally to you.

But counter-intuitively, you should focus on your strengths. The reason is that it’s biologically easier to improve a strength.

Your neurological pathways of your strengths have been utilized much more than those for the weaknesses. There’s a surge of dopamine that gets released into your bloodstream when you use your strengths. You get tremendous pleasure and it’s easier to go into that magical flow state. As a result, these strength pathways fire faster and easier than those for the weaknesses.

Follow your biological instinct. Play to your strengths. It’s the faster way to get to the top.

For an activity that we do daily, you’d think that as humans, we’d be better at it. It’s the one activity that really separates us from “lower” animals.

I’m talking about thinking.

But we don’t “think” very often. Most of our day is spent on autopilot. We merely follow what someone else has done and we’re satisfied. We wholeheartedly accept the rules that someone else has placed on us. No questions asked.

The question is “why”? Why don’t we think?

Because we’re afraid.

We’re afraid that if we use our brains, society will laugh at us. We fear that we’ll be ostracized from the group for our original thoughts. We fear that we’ll die.

But is that really true? When we actually use our brainpower, don’t good things typically happen? Don’t we accomplish great things if we truly think? 

What we need to do is simple. We must let go of the fear and exercise that brain muscle.

The truth is that we’re in this global situation now because we didn’t think. Now’s the time to change that.

We need to think.

You only have one job in this life.

It’s not to make a ton of money. You don’t need the big fancy car or house.

It’s not to do anything special. You don’t need to become the president of the United States or do any special volunteering.

And it’s definitely not to make your parents or society happy.

It’s simply this: Become the fullest expression of yourself. 

What does that mean? Only you can answer that question for yourself. Only your heart knows what that means.

But here’s a guideline in case you don’t know:

Live fully. Love fully. Become the best version of yourself. Don’t let anything  stand in the way of that.

That’s your only job while you have limited time on this earth. What will you do with this time?

 

When we were children, we compared ourselves. A lot. 

You may have been the tallest person in the class at one point. You felt proud and privileged that you were blessed with great genes. You felt special.

But then the next year, someone else got a growth spurt and became the tallest person. And you were crushed. You derived a sense of status from being the tallest. And now that disappeared in a year.

Eventually you got older and recognized that being the tallest doesn’t matter. It’s okay to be “you”.

Yet we still have this “I must be better than..” mentality in other areas of our lives. We must have the biggest car on the block. Or we must work at the best job in our friend group. Or we must be the happiest.

Why are we playing that game?

We forget that being “better than” is exhausting. You feel physically drained when you compare yourself to “what you should be”.

The reality is that once we know who we are, we don’t need to compare. We can feel comfortable knowing that we are enough.

Do you really need to be better than?

Why don’t you just be you instead? 

 

We live in a society that encourages us to play within our boundaries. So we follow the rules that have been arbitrarily set for us. Eventually we come to internalize these rules as our own.

But the people we most admire, the people are hearts respond to, have been wild. Steve Jobs was wild. Elon Musk is wild. Oprah is wild. They have all unleashed a part within that doesn’t care about the rules or limits of society. They are marching to the beat of their own drum.

My argument is that we all have this “wild side”. The challenge is to find ways to release it in your daily life. Maybe you can spend more time in nature. Or maybe you learn how to face the fears head on. Or maybe you just listen to what your heart truly is telling you and do that.

But however you do it, you must unleash your wild side. We need you to do it.

If you take a look at the media for any period of time, you can’t help but notice competition. Our society and economic models today are built on competition.

Now people only compete because they believe that there is a scarce resource. You compete for a prized position at a company because there is only one position available. You pay an exorbitant fee for a house because there is only one house on the block.

This competitive mindset forces you to see scarce resources. By focusing on the “one thing that matters”, you must compete in order to get it.

But, what if you assumed that there would be “more than enough” for everyone? How would you operate? How would you treat others?

I’m willing to bet that you would share more. You wouldn’t be concerned with competition because there’d be no need. You’d be happy to see another person win, simply because it’s fun to see people win.

The path forward then is simple: assume this abundance mindset. Believe in abundance and you get to see possibility where everyone else sees scarcity.

You merely need to say No to scarcity. And say yes to Abundance. 

Now will you?

 

I have a real problem with consultants.

I don’t think that they are bad people, necessarily. But I do think that their way of working is flawed.

A consultant is someone who gives advice on a problem that they may have solved before. Some of the better ones actually have the experience in that particular problem. In which case, they have some measure of credibility because they’ve solved it.

But most consultants have never fully experienced the situation at hand. And that leads to problems when it comes to following their advice. Ideally you’d prefer to take advice from someone who has walked the path before.

Now to me, anyone who gives advice to another person, is a consultant. Which makes your parents, family members and even your closest friends, consultants.

Normally, that’s not a problem. Sometimes you want people to help you decide what to do. And in that case, it’s a huge help having them give advice.

But when consultants give advice, without the credibility of solving it before, then I have a problem. How could they do that? Who gives them the right to tell you what to do?

You do. 

For those situations when a consultant is giving advice, here’s a better suggestion: Follow your own star. Get comfortable knowing what your intuition is saying to you and do that. Chances are that your intuition has a much better understanding of your particular situation than they do.

There are a myriad of ways to get in touch with your intuition. You can go for a walk. Or you can get still and meditate. Or you can write things down in a journal.

But whatever you do, don’t listen to consultants if they don’t have the experience. You can trust that you know yourself better than they do.

It’s really difficult to be satisfied with your work in the modern workplace. 

If you’re working in a team, you can’t always control how beautiful the presentation looks. You can’t control how information is shared in the team. You can’t fully control how your boss reacts to your output. You could be doing everything right personally, and still be not getting good results.

As a result, it’s easy to be dissatisfied and frustrated. You may have had a certain expectation of how good your work could be. But once reality hits, you can kiss those dreams goodbye.

So how are you supposed to solve this issue? The key is to recognize the problem.

Maybe the real reason that you’re not satisfied at work, is that you’re not satisfied. 

Here’s a suggestion: Become fully satisfied with yourself, first.

If you peel back the layers, you’re dissatisfied at work because you’re afraid. You’re afraid that you’ll lose face if this project goes badly. You’re trying to control the outcome so you can maintain your reputation. You’re forcing the world to be exactly as you want it and that’s causing the frustration.

Once you’re content with yourself, you don’t need the work to make you happy. You can allow yourself to be as you are, without needing a great result. Because you know that, deep down, you don’t need anything to be perfect in order for you to be happy.

You’re happy because you’re enough.