A New Source Code

There is a pervasive belief in the business world that you have to choose. Either, or. You can see this belief show up in the most mundane of areas.

“Where should we eat today?” “I don’t know how about McDonald’s or Chipotle?”

“Which deal should we choose?” “I can see the merits of option A, but I prefer option B”.

And so we choose. We pick either one or the other. We forget to think of the combinations between the two.

The reason we don’t think of them is that it’s not initially presented to us. We human beings are lazy. If someone says, choose between the two, we pick either one or the other. We don’t literally think of choosing “between” the two (as in the intersection).

This is a problem.

It’s a problem because we leave unexplored combinations on the table. What happens when you explore the combination of two options? What happens if you got a McDonald’s McFlurry and a Chipotle burrito? Or what happens if you choose option AB instead of just A or B?

The best part of life (in most things) lies at the intersection. Employees get beautiful ideas when they are forced to meet people from different departments. Or perhaps you get interesting travel options when you think about combining Hawaii with Alaska.

The challenge then is to consider the intersection of the options. It’s difficult to do but you can get so much more.

Think AND not OR.

 

Here are 8 simple ways to become a success:

• Stand up for the little guy
• Give 10x more value than they expected
• Always put the person first instead of the problem
• Include the people who are left out of the circle
• Be kind
• Challenge people to a higher standard
• Listen, then speak.
• Help people achieve what they want, first…

I know, I was supposed to talk about how you become a success. But becoming a success is simple to do. Yet we insist on making it complicated.

The rule is: If you help others become successful, invariably you get successful as well. And it comes back tenfold. Easy.

Which means, you only have to focus on serving the person in front of you. That’s it. Forget your hopes and dreams and focus on giving. Help them get what they want and you’ll get what you want.

The challenge is: Can you?

Can you help someone become successful, even though you won’t immediately get a reward? Can you put your goals behind you and help? Okay, I know you can do it.

Are you willing to give it a try?

 

If you watch carefully in the workplace, you can see it. You can notice when there are teammates who hesitate when doing tasks. You can sense when people are on edge. You can hear when the entire team is holding back from saying their truth in meetings.

There are many names you can call it. Procrastination. Criticism. Shyness.

But the more important thing is to call it by its proper name: Fear.

All of it is simply one thing. 

When you name it openly, fear loses its power over you. Fear can’t affect you once you are able to recognize it. This is doubly important when you are a part of a team. Within the team, fear is the enemy. It ruins the chemistry, erodes trust and causes miscommunication.

Naming the fear openly within the team and the team will be respond in the correct way. It’s all simply fear.

Sailboats are can seem like simple modes of transport. They can’t generate forward motion and they rely on the wind to propel them. They require a lot of manual labor in terms of getting them to stay afloat. They are small and not exactly the most comfortable places to be on the water.

When you compare them to ocean liners, there isn’t any contest. Ocean liners have powerful engines and can travel very quickly. They require minimal human labor to get the ship started. And they allow passengers to ride in the utmost comfort.

But there’s one thing that separates the two. Their speed in changing directions. Sailboats are more flexible.

If a captain examines the wind conditions, checks to see his current location, and  decides that he needs to change directions, then he wants a sailboat. Because you can be more flexible with the changing information.

As leaders, you will face new data constantly. At some point, you will realize that the path that you were pursuing was the wrong one. And that you may have to rapidly change course. In those situations, you better have the flexibility of thought like a sailboat.

But it’s not a natural thing for us. We hate change even though change is the only constant. We appreciate when people are consistent in their ideas and their plans. We call people who change their minds regularly, “flip floppers” and “two-faced”.

And yet, there are times when we need to change course. We will need to be flexible. We will need to be sailboats instead of ocean liners.

In the face of new data, which one are you? 

You are a general of the army, and you are ready to win the war. You have this grand vision in your head. You’ve split your army into Team A (you) and Team B. You have the idea that Team B is going to attack the enemy from the right side. And Team A will attack from the left side.

Team A is scheduled to attack the enemy from the left. But when you get there, you notice that Team B is already there in your position!

Why?

Yes, you told Team B what you wanted. But you didn’t make it 100% clear to them why they should be on the right.Now you have your entire army on the left side, which makes the area easy to defend.

Mistakes like this happen daily. Because each person will always have a different idea of how to get something done. As much as you assume that the other person understands, you must always verify. No matter their skill level or experience. It never hurts to check.

Better yet, give them only a small piece of the project to handle. That way you can quickly test to see if they understand your thinking. With the ability to communicate instantly, you have no excuse not to be on the same page.

Is your team clear on the result?

There’s a video floating around about a teacher teaching his students how to fill a jar.

At first, he fills the jar up to the brim with golf balls. Then he asks his students, “Is this jar full?”. His students reply, “Yes”.

Then he takes out some small rocks. He fills the golf-ball laden jar to the brim with the rocks. Again, he asks his students, “Is this jar full?” Again, his students reply, “Yes”.

Next he takes out some sand. He fills the jar to the brim with the sand. Again, he asks his students, “Is this jar full?” And yet again, his students reply, “Yes”.

Finally, he opens a bottle of water. He fills the jar as the water fits into all the tiny spaces left. Again, he asks his students, “Is this jar full?” And yet again, his students reply, “Yes”.

He then goes on to teach his students, that if you fill the jar with water first you can’t add all the other materials. Only if you focus on the big rocks first, will you be able to fit everything.

The jar is a beautiful allegory for how much time you have in your day. It is so easy to fritter away your time on the small things. Emails, Netflix, Instagram. But the real key is to focus on the “golf balls”. The key areas in your life: your health, your relationships, your sleep.

You can fit everything in. But the order that you do it in, matters. Focus on the big things. The small stuff can fit in through the cracks.

Is your jar really full?

Let’s say that you’re invited to play soccer on a team. You’ve loved playing soccer your entire life. Naturally, you’re excited to play and win. Without wasting a breath, you say yes to the invite.

Now, imagine for some reason, you discover that the game is rigged and you can never know the score. You don’t know who is winning or losing at any point in the game. And the game never ever stops.

Would you still want to play?

Well it depends. If you believe in just playing to play the game, then definitely. But if you believe in competing to win, then my guess is that you’ll pass.

Your decision to play or not to play boils down to this: Do you care about the score?

If you care about the score, then you’re playing a finite game. It has a determined endpoint and your objective is succeed within that time. If you’re leading a team, you’ll want to get them aligned and moving towards the goal. That’s the traditional model of leadership by objectives. And it’s how most of the world works.

But if you don’t care about the score, then you’re playing an infinite game. You can play for hours and hours and never be truly satisfied. Leadership in this kind of arena means that you are constantly seeking to expand the pie. There is no end goal. You are simply striving to be better than yourself.

As always you have a choice. You can lead with a finite mindset or an infinite mindset. Your corresponding actions will change depending on the mindset that you pick. But you’ll be become your best self if you adopt an infinite mindset.

So.. do you care about the score?

Imagine that you were shipwrecked on a deserted tropical island. You are the only person on the island (a la the movie Castaway). All of your friends on the boat have drowned. And here’s the real problem: you have no real survivor skills.

You can hear the noises of animals in the jungle. You notice that the sun is setting and you have not found a place to sleep. You feel a combination of emotions: fear, grief, even anger.

But do you feel grateful for being in this situation?

Probably not.

And yet, you should be. You’re alive, breathing and with no major injuries. You’ve had a brush with death, and you lived.  You get the opportunity to learn more about an island that not many have visited. You get to learn skills (hunting, fishing, surviving!!) that many in our day and age can’t do.

You should be the most grateful person on earth!

Now, this is an extreme example. I get that. In your life, events of this magnitude don’t happen to you often. Most of the time you get some good events. And some not so good ones. Yet the fact is, you might only be grateful for a small percentage of them.

We are not trained to see the good in every situation. It’s easy to complain about the negative events and say, “Why me?”. And it’s super easy to be grateful only when things are going well. Any one can do that.

But true leaders are able to say thanks for the negative. Thanks for the shipwreck. Thanks for the shitstorm. Thanks for the opportunity to show your character.

The challenge is to become grateful for everything. Both the good and the bad. You get to say to the world, “I welcome this opportunity to be my best self.”

True leaders are grateful, by default. Are you?

You’re the CEO of a high-flying tech startup. You’re working 80+ hour weeks. You’re always stressed, trying to meet the ambitious deadlines you’ve set. You don’t spend anytime recovering or sleeping. Now, guess what happens next?

You get sick.

You’re laid low for months with some mysterious illness. You go to doctors to find out what’s happening to you. You start taking all kinds of prescription pills to solve the problem. But nothing is changing the situation.

I’ve got news for you: You’ve got the Superman flu. 

The Superman flu starts from a single belief. That you can accomplish everything, like Superman, without taking care of your body. 

This idea is insidious in our society. You’re surrounded by stories of CEOs constantly working more than you are. As a result, you perpetually feel behind in terms of your work. You don’t want to feel like a failure so you keep grinding, doing anything to get ahead. “If only I could be like Superman,” you say to yourself.

The problem with this is that, you’re not Superman. And you never will be. So you have to make the decision: Do you want to lose everything (your health, relationships, life) by trying to become Superman? Or do you want to be set your sights lower and have a great life as a human?

You always have the choice. You don’t need to get the Superman Flu if you don’t want to. Change your work habits. Get some sleep. Play more.

Being a human is more fun.

 

Remember when you used to play board games as a kid? Maybe you were a fan of Monopoly or you were a fan of BlackJack. Maybe you were even a fan of games like Hungry Hungry Hippo (one which I thoroughly enjoyed!)

But whatever game you played, I’m sure that you were a fan of one thing:  Winning.

And why not? Winning is fun. You get a surge of feel good chemicals through your body that encourages you to keep playing. And to keep winning. People start to like you. People start to shower you with praise. And that feels good.

The danger with winning, is that you eventually start to believe your own hype. That because you’ve won in the past, means that you’ll continue to win in the future. And this is especially likely when you work hard. You believe that it’s all in your control because you persisted and did the work.

And that’s a flawed assumption. Why?

Because you can’t control luck. 

Luck is one of those concepts that people forget exists. Yes, you can be the hardest worker in the room. But if you don’t get a couple of those lucky breaks, then you won’t rise to the top.

The reason this is important, is that you become more humble. You realize how fragile success is and that it’s not all up to you. And that if you are currently successful, then maybe, just maybe, there’s someone smiling down on you.

The next time that you win and someone praises you, accept it. But always remember that you got lucky along the way.

Are you giving luck its due?