Are you giving away the trick?

If you’re a leader in today’s world, you have a problem. You probably talk about the work you’re doing. And you probably talk about it too much. 

And it’s understandable. You probably feel guilty if you’re not sharing what you did with your superiors. You may feel like you’re falling behind in the race to show that you’re achieving. You may even feel that if you don’t self-promote then you’re not truly leading.

Here’s my radical solution: Become like David Blaine.

What?

David Blaine is a master magician. His magic tricks always leave you scratching your head, wondering how he does it. But his number one rule is that he never gives away the secret of his trick. He knows that if the audience understands, then they won’t be surprised. He will lose his reputation.

In his one of his throwaway tricks with Jimmy Fallon, David Blaine swallows and spits out live frogs(!). But for me, the key part of this is that it’s a throwaway trick. This is one of the few, that he allows people to know how he accomplishes the trick.

He spends about 6 months (!) in Africa, learning how to control his stomach muscles. He practices with water. He practices with kerosene. He practices with live animals. All so that he can do it on command and make it look effortless. He’s such a master magician. He leaves you wondering: if he spends 6 months training to swallow frogs, then how much time does he spend on his bigger tricks?

That, my friends, is the essence of containment. 

Be like David Blaine. Do the hard work. But keep that knowledge to yourself. Don’t give away the trick.

Instead, let people wonder: “How do you do it?“.

 

 

Did you do it right the first time?

Probably not. Let’s face it: you wouldn’t be in this pickle if you did.

Now, why didn’t you? Ran out of time? Had other priorities? Simply forgot about it?

We’ve all been there. We’ve forgotten to submit that proposal. We have had a last minute meeting come up that made us miss our kids’ soccer practice.

But the people who dare to make a difference, they do it right. They set their priorities and they hold firm to them. They don’t go back and renege on their commitments. They subscribe to the philosophy of “How you do anything, is how you do everything”.

So they show up on time. They are always prepared. They turn down last-minute meetings for their families. Why? Because they mean business. For them, they know that if anything needs to be done, then it’ll be done right. They don’t believe they’ll get another chance with their families, their jobs, or their lives.

Be like them. Do it right. The first time.

Got your canary with you?

In the 1900’s, coal miners were mysteriously dying in record numbers. Only when autopsies were performed, did scientists realize that the deaths were due to carbon monoxide poisoning. So the scientists hatched a plan to solve the problem. They planned to detect the gas leak early and then warn the miners to evacuate.

But the problem was: carbon monoxide can’t be seen, smelled or tasted. How do you detect a gas that can’t be detected?

Luckily, scientists discovered that canaries are also highly sensitive to carbon monoxide. They noticed that these small yellow singing birds would die from very low concentrations of carbon monoxide. So they hypothesized: if the birds stopped singing, then it was a sure sign of a gas leak.

When they tested it in the mines, they found that this crude detection system actually worked. Eventually it was mandated that canaries were sent down in the mines with the miners. And while thousands of canaries died, they helped save the lives of thousands of miners.

In today’s society, the work that we do has changed. We no longer work in dangerous coal mines. We work, sitting down all day, staring at computer screens in plushy offices. But that doesn’t mean that we don’t have physiological limits. We can’t work 24 hours a day at a frenetic pace. We can’t deal with the constant stress that we feel when our emails follow us home. We’re not superheroes and nor should we try to be.

We need to have “canaries” that help us realize when we’re close to burning out. We need something that will alert us and cause us to change. Because we don’t want to repeat the mistakes of those early coal miners. We have to be more conscious of our limits. So…

Got your canary with you?

Are you still a scab-picker?

Remember, getting cuts or scrapes as a kid and picking the scabs? I used to be one. I mean, who didn’t love to pick a scab when they were younger? I loved the feeling of picking a scab in secret when my parents told me not to.

Eventually, I learned not to pick my scabs as I got older. I learned that picking a scab increases the healing time of the wound. I also learned that wounds have a higher risk of getting infected if they are exposed. I learned that scabs are my friends.

But, I never learned to avoid picking a scab when I get those emotional wounds. You know, those wounds you get when you receive a rejection letter. Or when you go through a bad breakup. Or when a new venture that you’ve launched, fails to even get off the ground.

Those wounds cut deep. They leave a mark on us that can affect our psyche. But thankfully, they heal. We are remarkably resilient to emotional wounds. There is even a “scabbing” process that happens, which is very similar to a psychical wound.

The challenge for us as adults, is to stop picking the scab. We must avoid the friends or family members who aren’t 100% supportive of us at this time. We avoid the negative self-talk that comes when we fail.

Instead, we need to do activities that encourage the healing process. For example, we can spend time in nature, or watch a great movie. Or we can call our most supportive friend. Or when it gets too hard, we can just sleep. Sleep cures all.

The same logic that we learned about scabs as kids, applies now. Only we need to be more conscious if we want to be emotionally healthy adults.

We need to just let the scab heal.

 

Where’s the wind blowing?

In the sport of sailing, the wind is your best friend and your worst enemy. First, you can’t move anywhere without it. Any of your attempts to move the boat without the wind is doomed to fail.

At the same time, you can only move in the direction that the wind is blowing. You can want to go north but if there’s only an easterly then, tough luck. Despite your best wishes, you’re at the mercy of the wind.

So your number one question in sailing is: Where’s the wind blowing?

Once you know which direction it’s coming from, you can plot a course. You can make adjustments to take you where you want to go. The wind teaches you acceptance. But it also teaches you something called “right action” or wu wei.

Tao masters believe that you should strive to achieve wu wei. It means that your actions are effortlessly in alignment with the current situation. You don’t do more than is required, regardless of the situation. If you need to wait, then you wait. If you need to work hard, then you work hard. No more than that.

The analogy of sailing is a great analogy of leadership. As a leader of the team, you must be aware of the current trends and their directions. And then once you understand, you put your team in the best position to take advantage.

But how much time do you spend thinking about the “wind” in your situation? Are you always analyzing to determine if you’re exerting just the right amount of energy? Or are you forcing your boat in the direction you want, regardless of the wind? One way is remarkably easier. You just have to ask:

Where’s the wind blowing?

Are you visible or invisible?

In the great book, “Astonishing the Gods” by Ben Okri, the protagonist goes on a magical quest. He is invisible and is surrounded by people who are all visible. He gets curious and decides to go off searching to discover how to become visible.

I won’t spoil the rest of the book. It’s phenomenal. The writing alone makes it worth your time. But I will say that he doesn’t find what he’s looking for (You understand that much by reading the back cover of the book). Instead he discovers something 10x greater than he hoped for, which changes him on a deep level.

It’s a story of transformation. And it challenged my outlook on life. It resonated with my soul on a deep level. And I guarantee it will do the same to you.

Now I ask myself the question: Am I visible or invisible?

Which one are you? 

** This might be one of the few times I share a book that resonated with me. I only do so because it is 1) short, 2) a beautiful story and 3) incredibly profound. I can’t recommend it enough.

How much do you care?

James Dyson had a dream. He dreamed of creating the best vacuum cleaner possible. He dreamed that one day he would be rich through his creation.

The only problem was that none of his ideas worked.

He created prototype after prototype, yet all of them failed. He kept counting the number of prototypes he made. He eventually reached prototype number 5,000. Yes that’s right… 5,000!! Still he hadn’t created the ideal vacuum. At this point, he was close to 15 years in pursuit of his goal.

And still, nothing.

Finally, prototype number 5,127 was a winner. It brought him the success that he was craving. Today, he is now Sir James Dyson and he’s worth over $4 billion.

Sir James Dyson cared enough about making the world’s best vacuum cleaner that he got the job done. 15 years, all of his savings and 5,127 prototypes later he achieved his success.

Do you care enough to go through the oceans of rejections to get to the other side? Because if you don’t care that much, someone else will. Because there are millions, maybe even billions, who want what you have. It’s a shame that our world is so competitive but that’s the reality.

This is the question you must ask yourself when you’re starting a new venture. And if you don’t care enough, then it’s okay to say so. Don’t kid yourself. Be honest and open. You can always find another area that you care deeply about.

Be grateful for your current position. And always ask yourself:

How much do you care?

 

Where’s your edge?

Tightrope walkers understand. They understand the fear that comes from constantly asking themselves this question. But if you ask them, they’ll say they never feel more alive than when they are on the tightrope.

If you don’t know where’s your edge, then you better find out fast. All your fears spring to life at your edge. The fears like “I’m not good enough”, or “Will I still be loved?” get legs when you’re at the edge.

Of course, you could live your life in the safe zone. You could be happy in your locus of control, doing only what you feel comfortable doing. But you will never have the exhilarating feeling of knowing you’re just one false step away from oblivion.

Once you leave your locus of control, you have stepped into the unknown. And you’re now in the realm of possible. All creativity and leadership abilities come from spending time in the unknown. You can’t truly listen to someone unless you suspend your “beliefs” about what they’re saying. You won’t be able to create a vision unless you embrace the uncertainty of not knowing. You can’t become your best self unless you detach from who you currently are.

And it all starts by knowing where your edge is. This knowledge is powerful. You understand what your limits are, what you will and won’t tolerate. And you discover where your edge only through intense self-reflection. Meditation, journaling, prayer, long walks in the woods. Those are the ways to discover your limits and move through them.

Where’s your edge?

What’s the next step?

Have you ever wondered why some people seem to always finish any projects they are involved with? What’s the secret potion that they drink that allows them to be resilient and finish?

They merely have made a daily habit of asking “What’s the next step?” until the project is done. That’s it.

Now, lots of people can create the big, sexy vision. Lots of people can even develop the action plan for getting there. Lots of people can even tell you the fancy why they are pursuing their goal.

But, few are biased towards relentless action. And this question habit is the key differentiator.

Because inertia is a powerful force. Once you’re at rest, it requires a monumental energy to get you back up and going again. It’s even a fundamental law of physics (Thanks Isaac!). You have to generate that forward force somehow. Asking this question is what pulls you over the finish line.

Ask this question repeatedly and you become a finisher. You become the person who is able to start AND finish projects. Watch your reputation climb as you start to earn plaudits.

But by then, you’ll be onto the next project because you’re constantly asking:

What’s your next step?

What would an eagle do?

Watch an eagle fly for any length of time and you can’t help but feel inspired.

Eagles soar above other birds and glide through the sky. They make micro adjustments with their head and eyes to survey their land below them. They fly with a calm knowing that they are in control of their domain. And then when they see their prey, they attack with tremendous ferocity. They fearlessly dive at their prey, knowing that they will be successful in their attack. And if they aren’t successful, then they calmly fly back and go after their prey again.

We revere eagles for these characteristics. We want to become eagles in our daily lives. We want to soar above the crowd and be unique. We want to fearlessly attack and achieve our goals.

But our problem is that we’re pigeons. We are terrified of sticking out. We spend our time with others who are just like us. We follow the path that’s been defined for us. We rarely challenge the status quo.

Becoming an eagle is simple. Stop being a pigeon. Spend more time on your own. Survey the situation for yourself. Know that you will be successful. Face your challenges without fear. Have the tenacity to never give up.

Or always ask yourself…

What would an eagle do?